dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
