I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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