Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
