we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize