He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
