There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to calm my uterus...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize