btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize