6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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