Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
