Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
