its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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