Only a mothe r could love this liver
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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