is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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