im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its liver damage thursday
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
