I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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