I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
