I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize