Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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