I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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