i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
