he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
