I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm lost and stupid without you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
