I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
