The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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