He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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