i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
