somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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