Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize