we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His hands were made for my vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
