Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
