im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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