bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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