I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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