Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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