just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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