my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
