I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
