Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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