Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
