i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
