Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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