you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
