Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sobbing to NWA
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
