You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
