Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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