im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
