ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
