So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
