Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
