i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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