shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
