I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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