chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The air was thick with penises
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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