should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
