You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
