Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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