She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
