Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
