Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
