dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize